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还剩下一门...考试
另,原本决定,这个是最后一个blog, 现在变了. 还会有一个新的... 我怕fc2国内没办法上啊... 而且这个上面情绪垃圾太多..........太多了.
继续努力, 我开始憧憬暑假了.
long time no write
I feel...well, emotion cells of mine seem to be out of control. Summer comes, and I'll be home...
But, exam monsters. Still, they are right there waiting for me. And I have no choice, but to defeat them.
Volunteer work, other events that I really wanted to get involved... This is my life, and I wanna make it better.
Kami sama, plz help me. I promise, I will be a better person.
Yes, I will.
I'll be sure to get up at 6 am.
* I seldom use 'will' that much. But recently, I am using it frequently. I know people need such kind of promise, n o matter how small it actually is. And, I need it, as always.
Ganbatte, watasi mo.
A phoenix would I be...
I felt really really tired today. Though having prepared for this BAD day since last week, it still take a bit while to move on. I did not cry, but did feel sorry. I let the self down, as this failed paper made me a kinda tragedy. :(
I went to supermarket, after that tute, immediately. Actually, I called a friend and said, yeah I failed the paper as thought of... I felt that my words might sounded rather sad, as from the reply of my friend. Hmm, I still can't lie, especially in front of friends.
I heard a familar sad song, which I used to listen to a lot when I was about 14 y/o. So I wandered in supermarket, as if I am in a dream... It's not because I was too sad. I don't know what I was thinking back then... probably, my friend is right. This is the first time I failed a paper... unlike Calculus in previous uni. Yeah, I might not understand myself as I believed.
I thought I am strong and brave enough. I thought I can handle things well. And I thought I am unique.
I'm not saying now, I feel that I am weak and frightened; nor a damn trouble-maker; not even saying I am ever out of the category of unique. I can't deny all those I have been pround of, nor can I easily give up.
I wanna be a phoenix. Even if I ruined myself in fire, a new me would soon be here.
I looked up to the sky, when walking home, slowly. And I saw beautiful clounds. They looked like a wing, an angel's wing. Really. Kind of, I guess someone would save me. And that someone could be the self, too.
４ＤＡＹ project
回主题。
制定了一个４天计划，就是在４天之内，完成期末论文（包括请人帮我看一下，还有修改）以及日语的全部复习计划。听起来有点疯狂，可是其实难度不算大。我很肯定。
这样１１月１日开始，就有１０天有余的时间，每天模拟考试了…… 因为除了练习一小时写１０００字有质量的考试论文，我想不到更好的办法了。
今日要完成论文初稿，３点半开始，争取５点半能告一段落。
倒数18
最近一直很焦虑，物极必反，今天反而平静下来了。 而且，心情还好。
物业管理来查公寓，帅哥一只，人很和蔼，聊了几分钟，我突然发现我说英文的感觉又回来了。
晚上的小课，讨论的是中国相关问题，于是我一个人“被迫”说了半节课…… 大概最近把焦虑情绪用完了，英文居然神奇般的好起来了。不过已然12周了……唉。但是还有1年半呢。
课后和一个女生聊了起来，local，日语很强大，明天打算去查一下人家名字…… 不当心忘记本名了，却记住她名字的日语和kanji形式，以及日语的外号…… 唉，我什么脑子……
7点多下课，图书馆坐到9点。
明天日语口语考试，目标9。（订高一点才行！！）之后见Naomi，然后是二年级生的一个focus group，承认也无妨，我就是为了下学期的书券去的。贵啊，书；贵啊，住房； 更贵啊，学费。最贵，青春。
去准备了。 Sagano请附体吧。（笑）
